Director's Corner

One compelling image of the family is the child's journey as an ever-widening elliptical orbit, with the parent(s) at the center providing the essential gravitational pull. As the orbiter, the child comes close, moves away, comes close, moves a little farther away, and so forth, onward along the curving path of growing independence. According to Northwestern University's Qualitative Reasoning Group, "Orbits are the result of a perfect balance between the forward motion of a body in space, such as a planet or moon, and the pull of gravity on it from another body in space, such as a large planet or star." It is that balance we constantly seek as we guide our children on their path to a healthy adulthood

Crucial to this process is the understanding that one cannot orbit and also be the center of the universe, much as a child may seem to want to be. (They don't, really, but that's another post.) The parental unit was there before the child arrived, and if all goes well, will remain once the child leaves home. It stands to reason, then, that parents nurturing themselves (whether single or in a partnership) is easily as important as parents nurturing their young ones--in fact, nurturing themselves is nurturing their young ones, and modeling an important habit of the healthy adult. To put children at the center of things is to deny them the opportunity of experiencing their parents' relationship as separate from them, and the solid foundation upon which their family is built.

So...call a sitter! Plan a night out, or take a walk together, or...? And make it a regular thing. 

Disasters--natural and otherwise--are a fact of life. News such as major earthquakes, terrorist attacks, or the recent tragedies in Portland and Connecticut can elicit reactions covering a spectrum from disbelief, to compassion, to fear. That being said, we as adults are able to frame these frightening incidents in the context of our life experience. It is distressing when details of catastrophic occurrences filter down into conversation among children of preschool age.

It does such serious events no dishonor to say that this kind of information has no place in the world of the young child. As parents and teachers, we must strive each day to shelter children from frightening images and information they can neither comprehend, nor respond to in any constructive way. Sometimes, newspapers must be tucked away just for grown-ups' eyes; radio and television reports must be saved for adults-only time. It behooves us to be careful what we discuss within earshot, whether petty complaints or concerns for the future of humanity!

Of course, it does happen sometimes that children are exposed to things we would rather they had not seen or heard. Then, fears and curiosity must be addressed. The key is to offer, in one's calmest matter-of-fact manner, the simplest possible explanation. For example, in the case of flashing lights and emergency vehicles on the freeway, one might say, "Some people need help, and the police are taking care of them." Limited information, inexplicit, yet truthful. What a child needs is reassurance, and fewer details than one might imagine. The late Fred Rogers put it this way: "When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping. To this day, especially in times of disaster, I remember my mother's words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers--so many caring people in this world."

One can hardly overstress the importance of nurturing in children their innate belief that the world is generally a good and safe place to be--and it is, despite what the media may bring into our homes each day. When we do so, we are providing a solid and secure foundation from which our children will someday move forward and become good citizens with a positive vision for their future. They'll be the helpers.

Pablo Picasso said, "Each second we live is a new and unique moment of the universe, a moment that will never be again. And what do we teach our children? We teach them that two and two makes four, and that Paris is the capital of France. When will we also teach them what they are?...You must work, we must all work, to make the world worthy of its children."

One aspect of a world "worthy of its children" is a value placed on space and time for childhood. Young children's development proceeds at a pace determined by nature which cannot--and should not--be hurried, nor can it be bypassed. Far from little vessels needing to be filled with facts and figures, young children are unfolding beings who must first spend sufficient years noticing, exploring and interacting with their immediate world before cataloguing, categorizing and expanding it. 

According to Jane Healy, highly-respected educational psychologist and author of Your Child's Growing Mind, "Early childhood programs that implement a directed academic curriculum often replace essential, hands-on learning activities with skill-based performance and rote-learning tasks. In doing so, they risk the developmental growth necessary for children's future academic success." So while preschool programs offering math, science, pre-reading and other academics may seem to give a child a "leg up", the truth is that there is no substitute for child-directed imaginative play, which in itself is profoundly pre-academic and fosters creativity, problem solving, and openness to new ideas--all among the many well-researched and documented benefits of play. Children whose deep, engrossing play is displaced by direct instruction in the early years misses out on some critical building blocks for their future.

A world worthy of its children will reclaim childhood for them.

Almost twenty-five years ago, Robert Fulghum wrote a book called All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten.  Its salient points were made into a poster that seemed ubiquitous in mudrooms, pediatricians' offices and teachers' lounges.  I have no idea if it is still popular, but I haven't seen it around lately so thought I would post it here. I still enjoy reading it!  

Needless to say, this is what we are all about at The Mountain School with our play-based curriculum. While the current trend in early childhood education is to overlook the development of personal and social skills in favor of premature academic study, these words have never rung more true.  Enjoy!